Guest Book - SANDS SA

Here you can read the contributions from parents and friends from all over the world
Feel free to add your own comments, thoughts or story for others to read. Add Here

Date: 2011-10-31 20:56:12

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Date: 2011-10-21 00:39:20

Name: Kylie

Email: kejacobs@live.com.au

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Referred by: Just Surfed In
Location: Adelaide

Comments:

I\'m feeling a ltitle sad today, it\'s coming up to Sarrah\'s 10th anniversary on Wednesday. I can\'t believe its been 10yrs and that I have survived, I will never forget the dark days in the beginning. Sarrah died at around 20wks of the pregnancy and I had to carry both her and Taliah to the end of the pregancy. Taliah survived even though she was given terrible odds and I\'m glad to say she is a happy healthy little girl. This time 10yrs ago I was so happy I was pregnant with twins and I was so excited, I had a good marriage and beautiful children, then on the 26th 2001 my world ended when they told me one no longer had a heartbeat. 10yrs ago started the end of my marriage but we held on for another 5yrs before he finally walked out and left me with 7 kids and got remarried. He is happy and I\'m still single.
I\'m really upset today also about the loss of Teddy Love Club which I started with Trudi in honour of Sarrah, we started it on Sarrah\'s first anniversary. I put so much into the organisation then had it ripped away from me. Long story short Trudi gave me an ultimatum of her or me as we had different ideas. I didn\'t want to take it away from her as I loved her like a sister, but she had no problem taking it from me. I miss taking bears to the hospital especially on Sarrah\'s 10th anniversary. I miss being involved in something special. Trudi just doesn\'t know how much pain she caused me and it was like losing Sarrah all over again and it ultimately led to my mental breakdown.
I\'m so upset today I kept my 7 children home from school so I wouldn\'t have to be alone. I love my children very much but I miss my little girl that I never got to hold, or kiss, or hug. I have 4 boys and 3 girls and if Sarrah had survived I would have had the perfect family and probably would still be happily married. I still love Andrew but he is married to some one else.
Im just feeling so down today, thanks for reading, love to all on this journey.

Date: 2011-10-04 00:01:00

Name: Astrid

Email: astrid_alonzo@hotmail.com

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Referred by: Media
Location: Adelaide

Comments:

Hi everyone, I just wanted to write a few words. I had 2 consecutive miscarriages the first one in March 2009 and the second one in July same year, both between 8 and 10 weeks.

I dont want to explain how hard was it, but the only thing that keep me with hope was that both with my husband were compatible in genes.

I can tell you that i did not stop having faith, I know the feelings of looking friends, even my sister or women with kids make me jealous or even angry with myself.

After all this I did a lot of research, but I told my husband that I wanted to wait for a year to prepare my body and to recover my soul. I think for what I read; that after a miscarriage you will try as soon as possible to conceive again.

I was more worried because of my age (35)

That is why I said, I will work this year really hard and I will have a baby.

In this year I did the following things.

I knew from my doctor that my levels of folic acid were small, then every day I took a little 5mg tablet of folate.
I red that sometimes your blood can be thick and then you dont have the nutrients passing to you baby in the early weeks.
For this reason I have aspirin of 100mg, one each day too.
I did exercise even that I was always in good shape, I walked, or run, at least 3 times per week.
I used to eat healthy but I did more this time.
Not to much alcohol and I didn\'t drink anything 2 months before we try to conceive again.

My husband in the other hand quit smoking and eat healthy too.

It was our goal and we did it.

In June 2010 we decided to try again and in March 2011 we were bless of this healthy lovely boy. Santiago.
I keept with my diet, my tablets of folate, little aspirin and pregnancy & breast feeding tablets the whole pregnancy.

I delivered my baby via C- section because in all the test I had they found that the shape of my uterus wasn\'t normal, other thing to be worried, but in the end even this didnt stop me on my dream.

I want to finish with this quote from the Alchemist.

When you wish something with all your mind and all your heart.
The universe conspire in your favour till you get it.

All the best!!!!!

Date: 2011-08-23 00:53:39

Name: Kerry

Email: Kaden@activ8.net.au

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Referred by: Professional
Location: Cleve

Comments:

I have written several times on this site and have found it wonderful to release some of the pain for all of the poor souls going through what I went through I feel for you, I have one 10 year old disabled son I adore (who i nearly miscarried) one son who passed away five and a half years agon (aged three days old from an undiagnosed heart condition) and three miscarriages I will always remember with sadness, and one now two year old daughter. I was told that the heart condition my son died of was hereditary and my daughter would likely have it (Thankfully she does not) and that the miscarriages where due to a condition with my uterus, which would mean I would not be able to carry a baby to term but here I stand the happiest and proudest mother there is years down the track full of memmories happy and sad but never to regret what my husband and I lived, loved and will always love our precious children. To everybody out there scared and feeling alone you are not trust me there is hope and happiness, when you think things cannot get any harder they do not joy is yours just keep believeing and hoping no matter how hard.

Date: 2011-08-11 21:18:53

Name: Vanessa

Email: vanessa@aspcomputers.com.au

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Referred by: Professional
Location: Flagstaff Hill

Comments:

I started to bleed at 4.30pm Monday a week ago, i was nearly 8 weeks along. I rang and spoke to a midwife at the hospital who told me this was either normal or abnormal and to try not to worry but if the bleeding continues to either go to emergency or to my local G.P.

I went to work on night shift that night and bled the whole night. When i got home from work i asked my husband to take me to emergency where they did a blood test and due to my beta HCG hormones being really low (2,000 rather than +64,000) they did an emergency transvaginal ultrasound. Thank goodness my husband was with me the whole time as they could not find a heartbeat to begin with, then when they did finally find one, it was 95 bpm which is really slow. I knew from info i had been reading up on on the internet that the heartbeat should be 150bpm or faster. The sonographer didnt tell us anything and then we had to wait nearly 2 hours back in emergency for the doctor to come and see us to tell us what was happening. He sent us home and i was to come back in 48 hours for another blood test.

I bled the whole time then went back on my own at 7.30am for the blood test two days later. It showed the pregnancy hormones had dropped even further and the doctor took me into a room to tell me it was pretty certain the baby had died, but that they needed to do another transvaginal ultrasound to make sure. I had to wait for 2-3 hours for the scan as they couldnt get me in any faster than this. I rang my husband and he came into the hospital to wait with me. The ultrasound was the most horrible thing i had ever experienced, i had to empty my bladder before it, and when i went to the toilet i saw a piece of tissue on the pad, i had started to lose my baby. Then the ultrasound showed an empty sac where there had been movement only 2 days before this. My husband and i knew without anyone telling us (not that they did) that we had lost our baby.

We then had to wait another 3 hours in emergency for the gyne doctor to come and give us our options. When she finally got there there was hardly any information given to us and we were rushed through, even though i asked questions and told her i was a nurse. I decided to try the mistoprostal tablets first to see if i would have the baby naturally. If i hadnt had the baby by the next morning i would be put on the emergency operation list to have a dilation and curette (D&C). I had to stay the night in hospital as the tablets can make you haemmorrhage.

After sitting (in pain and with bleeding) in emergency since 7.30am i finally got admitted to a bed on the ward at 7.30pm! It had been the longest, most traumatic day of my 31 year life! Then, when i got to the ward the nurse didnt really come near me and when she did she didnt say a word to me. I felt really really alone (i had sent my husband home to rest as he had to start work at 7am the next day). The night staff were alot more caring and informative, and i was added to the long list of emergency theatre cases the next morning, i was told i was number 13th on the list (just as well im not superstitious!)and that it would not necessarily be done today, or it could be done at 3am!

I finally got taken into holding bay at 3pm that day (in the private hospital next door, as the public hospital i was in was too busy to do it that day and there were three women who needed D&C\'s) and was made to wait for an hour and a half in holding bay. I had never had an operation before and i was really scared and upset and it seemed no one would look at me or come near me. I felt like i had been forgotten, just when i needed support and comforting the most. I finally went in at 4.30pm and when i woke up at 5pm in recovery it was all over. I was empty, my baby was gone forever. And to top it all off i had to wait in recovery for 2 hours as nobody would come to pick me up to take me back to the public hospital. And all i could hear were the nurses all bitching about the fact that me and the two other girls had been addded to the private hospitals list when nobody even knew about us. I felt like screaming at them to have a little bit of compassion. My sweet darling husband was there waiting patiently for me when i got back to the ward to take me home. The agency nurse wouldnt let me go home straight away, and after i explained quite angrily to her that i would be going home as soon as i had eaten something since i had already gone to the toilet in recovery and waited 2 hours down there, she got narky and said i couldnt go yet and that i would get her in trouble. I told her i was a nurse and i knew i only had to wait at the hospital for 2 hours before i went home and that we would be leaving now, 3 hours after the operation. I felt even more horrible for being angry at the nurse, i just wanted someone to try to understand what i had been through in the past two days.

It was a week ago today that i had the D&C, and i am in tears every day. Im finding it hard to get out of bed and i dont feel like leaving the house. I have arranged more time off work. I spoke to my friend last night who has had a miscarriage prior to having her beautiful little boy,and finally, after a week of trying to talk to friends and family about it and having been asked by my mum \"what is worng?\" and told by her not to \"dwell on it\" my friend has helped me realise that i need to grieve, and that it is completely normal to feel empty and lonely and sad all the time, i just need some time to deal with it all. She also said that she had a week off of work after her D&C and it wasnt long enough and she would encourage women to have as much time off as they need to cope. She also said that people who hadnt been through a miscarriage would not understand and that they all say the same things which do not seem to help. All we need is for someone to listen. Thank you for listening to me and letting me tell my story :)

Date: 2011-06-12 11:22:09

Name: madilyn peters

Email: madilynpeters@gmail.com

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Referred by: Just Surfed In
Location: adelaide

Comments:

Im a 20 year old mother of a beautiful nearly 3 year old healthy as can be boy and he gets me through everyday. I have not really told my story before as everyone has always been to worried to bring up the subject. I was so excited to fall pregnant again even though unplanned...I had a healthy 1 year old so even though im a type 1 diabetic with great magement so in high risk category I never felt that it could happen to me. I was lying on the table for a check up at 18 weeks..as everyone knows feeling that apprehension as the dr looks for a heart beat...he was taking a while but of course as they say oh bubs must be moving around...after a few minutes he went to get the portable ultrsound machiene stilll saying everythings fine babys just moving around in a bad position probably...so I really though nothing of it. I was a little nervous I supose as I watched the black screen light up...seeing my baby it only took me a second for my heart to break. No movement no sound. The doctor said to me the machine isn\'t very good so baby very well could still have a heart beat....but I could tell he didn\'t believe what he was saying. I then had to wait 3 hours to have my 2nd ultrtasound in the mian suiote of the wch. 3 hours of waiting watching women finding out the sex of their babies mostly...was so hard. Then as they scanned me again I saw my bbaby for the last time and that image is imprinted in my head. I then had to tell my partener and felt gilty startight away thinking it was my fault. Then because the baby was small enough in her words o had the choice of giving birth of having a d and e. I chose the d and e because I was scared but still feel it was the best decsion. Because the doctor eas very busy I had to wait 2 days with my dead baby inside me begfore having my operation. And with this noone offered me councelling or any support of any kind...except for family. I\'ve never properly gotten over this...6 weeks later the results of the test done on the baby came back to it being in that 1 percent thatcant be expalined what happened. She was perfect but for soem reason her little heart stopped. 4 months later I fell pregbnant agin. I really did keep this wall up and tried not to bond with my baby...but this didn\'t work of course. And because the doctor told me it was a 1 percent chance of this happeneing again well I was quite confident. At 17 weeks I was taken to hospital due to hypoglycemia. ..low blood sugar. Routinely they checked for a heartbeat and there was none...this was especially hartd infornt of my partner and son. Iwwas by my self the time before and found that reasier. I had the prceure agin and the baby was 16 weeks old but had died the week before. Again there was no answers as to why my 2nd little girl died...in that 1 percent the doctor said yet again. Im so frustrated I can\'t get an answer. My diabttes specialest assures me Mum magement was great. Wow writing this has made me feel alot better. Thankyou for reading.

Date: 2011-05-28 18:05:04

Name: Nneka

Email: egyptianwoman73@yahoo.com

Homepage:
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Referred by: Just Surfed In
Location: Boston, MA

Comments:

My Angel Baby, Annaya Marie, would have been 9 months old yesterday. I am getting to ok. At times I feel like I\'ve been in a dark tunnel racing in slow motion towards the light. With time I know that I will get closer and closer but... I must take it at God\'s pace.

Born at 37 weeks, on my 37th birthday, August 27, 2010, I may never know why my healthy daughter died.

I\'ve dedicated my life to raising awareness and prevention.

Date: 2011-05-17 07:14:45

Name: Wendy

Email: wendyk1963@adam.com.au

Homepage:
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Referred by: Just Surfed In
Location: Pinnaroo, South Australia

Comments:

Years ago many parents of stillborn babies did not get the chance to see or hold their stillborn babies as the misguided belief was that it would be too traumatic for them.
These babies were often taken from their mothers in hospital and buried without the parents knowing the location of the burial plot.
A lot of these babies were buried in unmarked graves in the hospital grounds.
I belong to a small group of people who are trying to establish an memorial for stillborn babies buried at our local hospital.
We would like to hear from anyone that has a memorial in their area that we could get some ideas from.
If you have any photos you can email me that would me very much appreciated.
Towns with memorials include Jamestown, Red Hill, Port Pirie and Port Augusta.
If anyone from those area\'s could send some photos they would be greatly appreciated.
Regards, Wendy

Date: 2011-03-22 02:33:32

Name: Maria

Email:

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Referred by: Just Surfed In
Location: Adelaide

Comments:

I just wanted to say thanks. My daughter had a stillborn birth in the early hours of this morning.
And I must commend the staff at the Waikerie Hospital in the support and advice given to my daughter and son-in-law. They were not going to hold their daughter or have a funeral or name her, it was so painful for them to even think about that, but thankfully to the staff and your information booklet they have now held her, named her Eboni Rose and there will be a small funeral on Monday morning for her. Also they are going to have a keepsake box on the day for all of the family to put something in there for Eboni.
I did not know about this organization until today and would like to thank you for all the information in the little package given to my beautiful family.
I wish I had known about this organization when I myself had two ectopic pregnancies when in my late twenties. I may have allowed myself to grieve the loss of hope and which I believe contributed to my feelings of sadness and depression that had gripped me for many years. Thank you once again for this beautiful organization for the many lives that are rescued and changed in how they deal with the saddest loss in the world.

Date: 2010-08-26 18:45:12

Name: Cat

Email:

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Referred by: Professional
Location: Whyalla

Comments:

I had a d&c (\'evac\') only two days ago so I\'m still very emotionally raw and was 8.5 weeks pregnant on Wednesday. A week previously we were told the baby\'s heart had stopped beating (despite it being seen at 5 weeks) and the baby had died perhaps a week prior (so by last Wed it hadn\'t been alive for around 2 weeks). I had some bleeding but no clots or tissue.

I am in an angry stage which began when I checked into admissions at the local country hospital to have my evac performed by the wonderful obstetrician (thank goodness for her!). The admissions staff didn\'t lower their voices or show any sensitivity when announcing \"she\'s here for a missed abortion\" - they said this three times in a the space of a few minutes. Their tones showed no inflection of understanding or care. A half full waiting area was behind me with other patients within earshot. I am in a country town (Whyalla) where everyone knows everyone and I\'m a teacher so that makes it even worse as I am known by around a few hundred children and their families. I didn\'t say anything immediately, but composed myself a few minutes later and went back and asked them whether they were trained in being sensitive with these matter and did they in fact realise I was here for a missed miscarriage, which means my baby has died but is still inside of me. I said I understood that they need to know why I am here being admitted, but surely there are more stringent privacy protocols they can follow when it is due to pregnancy loss???? The girl apologised profusely and explained she was new and didn\'t realised. I filled out a complaint form and have still not heard back from the hospital. I sit here sad and angry wondering if I should ring them to follow up on it? I\'m unsure if this will be helpful at this early stage.

I am primarily angry with the way the local GP dealt with my diagnosis on miscarriage and have spent all morning googling the appropriate conduct for a GP in regards to this - I haven\'t found anything as of yet. Last week I went to bed with a little bright red blood and some occasional pains. I awoke early at 6am to more blood and woke up my partner and asked him to take me to the casualty department at our hospital, 5 minutes away. We were referred back to a local GP, underwent a transvaginal ultrasound and bloodwork tested for my beta HCG. At noon that day, the GP informed us the baby\'s heartbeat had stopped at 6 weeks (I was 7 and a half weeks along) and I had an \"incomplete miscarriage\". Please note an internal exam had NEVER been performed by any doctor along the way. My cervix was never checked. The GP said to rest for the next few days and I could return to work by Monday. I was given NO brochures on miscarriage and the process of whether to have a D&C versus miscarrying naturally was NEVER explained. I was also not offered a prescription for any pain killers nor advised I should take any. It was never discussed what the actual miscarriage would feel like or look like and I went home unaware of how to proceed but emotionally numb, crying and shattered. I bled on an off for the Wednesday to Sunday but by Monday morning (due to return to work) the bleeding had tapered off. By recess time I went to the toilet and noticed bright red blood and some stringy tissue again. I was confused. I rang the local obstetrician\'s receptionist (I had an appointment in 3 weeks time which was the first available). I asked if I could be squeezed in as I was told I was having a miscarriage, not given any advice on how to proceed and told I could go back to work. I asked I wasn\'t sure how appropriate it was for me to be at work???

Long story short: the obstetrician did an internal exam and ultrasound on wonky old machine she had (quite unclear picture) and determined I\'d had a missed miscarriage. My beta HCG had still risen 5,000 in 7 days, however this is not unheard of. My body obviously still believed the baby to be alive since it was intact and the gestational sac still fully formed. She and I discussed options but we both felt an evac procedure was the best way to avoid a painful miscarriage and also let my body and mind begin to heal.

Do you or others have stories of the doctors misconducting themselves and showing no respect or dignity for women undergoing early miscarriages? I felt him totally dismissive. I am half tempted to book in to see him today and ask him about my concerns!
Thank you for posting your stories.

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